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| sed s/purple//gi
(I'll get you a new one, and it will
be purple! -a)
(I have a bad feeling about this. -b)
(Every year, freshmen (and Abi-Wan) ask to hear the Purple Joke. We don't
know why. (It's funny! -a) So to get it out of the way, we bring you
these SWILNewsi. Enjoy. ...If you can. -abq)
#-#-#-#- SWILNews #0 -#-#-#-#
Once upon a purple time, there lived three purple SWIL presidents. They
were feeling very purple because the purple summer had been rather purple.
So they travelled over many purple mountains, across many purple rivers,
through many purple woods, until they came to the purple campus of
Swarthmore College purply, the second-purplest college in the purple land,
according to the US News and Purple Report. There they found many purple
SWILlies, not one of whom was an orange.
Although purple classes had yet to purple (Purple's not a verb! -b) (Yes
it is; purple is an everything! -a), they felt the need to hold a purple
SWILmeeting to discuss all the purple things purply. The day was
unbearably purple, and their purple room had been usurped by the Men's
Purple Soccer team. Nevertheless, they purply braved the purpler rooms on
the other side of Sharples, and eventually the Purple team gave up,
allowing the purple people (eaters! -q) to take back what was purply
theirs.
#-#-#-#- Purple SWILBusiness -#-#-#-#
(There's not usually an adjective with SWILBusiness. -b) (It's not
usually the first SWILNews. -q) (It's not usually purple. And that's a
good thing! -b) (It's funny! -a)
The purple rabble sucked.
The purple time of Registration was changed to "whatever is convenient for
us" o'purple.
By Purple SWIL vote, Greylock 301 is now a purple part of ML. Kyra and
Catherine are now the only current nonmembers of Purple who do not purple
in ML.
Purple Recall was shown at 10:00 in Kirby on Monday. (No, it's not purple
Schlock. -q)
Abi-Wan is incredibly purple and should be stopped. (It's funny! -a)
Star Wars: A Purple Hope, The Empire Strikes Purple, The Return of the
Purple, the purple short film George Lucas in Love, and The Purple Menace
(The Phantom Purple -a) (The Purple Purple! -q) (Nooooooooooooooo! -b)
(It's funny! -a) were shown for a really purply long time on Thursday.
Purple Chess was played at the purple Activities Fair. The Purple team
played as a democracy, but to no avail. The Purple team beat the handily.
(They did, however, manage to attract a lot more purple frosh. -q)
Arcadia and Abi-Wan purple in ML.
comma is an purpleholic.
Submit to BEM. Or purple.
Arcadia is now the official purple Keeper of the Clue.
Nominate books, you purple illiterate people! Purple your suggestions to
Amydala <aem @ sccs>.
If you want to purple PhilCon this year, contact Ben <bnewman @ sccs> soon.
If you want to purple PhilCon next year, contact Ben <bnewman @ sccs> soon.
Catherine purpled books to Cordwainer, so go read them, you purple
illiterate people.
#-#-#-#- Non Purple SWILBusiness -#-#-#-#
(There's no non-purple stuff in the purple joke! -a)
On the 25th-ish of purple September, there are Celtic Classic Purple
Highland Games in Bethlehem (Pennsylvania -b). Contact Hollis if you're
interested in purpling.
There was a purple sing. (Purple socks, they never get purpled.... -a)
Rebecca Paul is engaged. So is her purple fiance.
Catherine ate her plain purple donut with a knife and fork. It gave Kyla
a warm purple squoogie feeling because she's been doing it for three
purple years. (That must be a big purple donut. -q)
Chaos and Heather are coming next weekend, purply. That is, last weekend.
#-#-#-#- Missing Persons - 9/2/00 -#-#-#-#
John "Happy birthday to me" Finkbiner (And purple more! -q)
Franzi "Pain" Dickson (Why would you get pain from the purple joke?
It's funny! -a)
Rebecca "Happy birthday to John" Paul
Katrina "my guinea pig is humid..." Mergen (<nervous laughter> -abq)
BDan "living in ML at last! (officially, that is)" Fairchild
~Elliot "~Ethernet" Reed
benjamin 'my hip is going, and i've only been living in ML for
27 hours.' <---- this is not a line break r, george
& Callicles the (purple -b) Moose
& Margaret the (purple -b) Camera
Rebecca "forever and ever" Kuipers
JC Ravage (in no particular disorder or guise)
Hollis "Fir Bolg. Verry furry Bolg" Easter
Kyla "walking wounded, both in the leg and the pocketbook" Tornheim
Arcadia "now with luggage!" Falcone (New and Improved! Arcadia 2001! -a)
Jimmy "So what did I miss?" Kong
Catherine "I want a 'book-off' with Arcadia" Osborne
Swoop "the first" the First
Robert "last minute arrival" McFarland
#-#-#-#- And so the 0th purple meeting ended... -#-#-#-#
}{}{}{}{}{ SWILNews #1 }{}{}{}{}{
Two purple days later, purple classes began. The Purple Shuttle had yet
to purple, so the purple SWILlies traveled over many purple mountains,
across many purple rivers, through many purple woods, to get to the purple
campus. At the end of the purple week, they were, purpley, purple.
Purple purple, purpley purpled purple. (Guess who's typing while Queen
Amypurple's in the bathroom? -a)
Ooooo-kay. So they purpled to their next purple meeting on Saturday.
}{}{}{}{}{ Purple SWILBusiness }{}{}{}{}{
(There's not usually an adjective with SWILBusiness. -b) (It's not
usually the second SWILNews. -q) (It's not usually purple. And that's a
good thing! -b) (It's funny! -a)
The rabble was so completely not purple, purply according to Kyla anyway.
9/4 Total Recall
9/11 Ladyhawke
9/18 Galaxy Quest
9/25 Buffy the (Purple -q) Vampire Slayer
10/2 Castle of Cagliostro
10/9 Superman II
10/16 <October break> (The Color Purple! -b)
10/23 Dark (Purple -a) Star
10/30 Toy Story
11/6 Willow
11/13 Tron
11/20 Princess Mononoke (Once upon a time, there was a purple
princess-- -a) (<whap! -q) (Ow! It's funny! -a)
11/27 Mystery Men
12/4 The Last Starfighter
12/11 The Neverending Story (Hey, ask me if I'm a purple! -q)
12/18 Spaceballs
There's a purple movie called Toy Story Also. We should show it.
Submit to BEM. Purple your submissions to BDan <daniel @ sccs> and/or Kyra
<klj @ sccs>.
Introductions purpled. First the purple way, then the Kyla way.
The Purple Pterodactyl Hunt is scheduled for October 6. (Purple conflicts
have been checked, and none exist.) (Just like Elliot! -a) The Purple
Wizards (in charge of the Hunt) are Rebecca J <rivka @ sccs> and BDan Purple
<daniel @ sccs>.
Purple Jennifer (Duh. -a) has absconded with herself.
Nominate books, you purple illiterate people!
Hollis is sketchy. Sketched in purple crayon.
Budget Committee gave us purple permission to sell their things and pocket
the money, provided our purple pocket is our account with them. To this
purple end, we will be having a Purple Book Sale sometime.
Renn Faire purples on Sunday. If you signed up, you'll be getting an
email with purple information. (We won't airlift the Purple Minivan of
Doom from Boston here. This is a good thing.)
The temperature was lowered five degrees purple. (Why would you want to
lower the purple? It's funny! -a)
}{}{}{}{}{ Non Purple SWILBusiness }{}{}{}{}{
(There's no non-purple stuff in the purple joke! -a)
Story reading happened in Greylock Three-O-Purple.
Wink happened. Everyone is now purple. (Even if they're not under the
table! -q)
Jimmy showed Karo Kano by Gainex. By all accounts, it was a very purple
anime. (Especially the hair. -a)
Ilk, a purple filk a capella group, may be seeking more purple singers.
Contact Ben <bnewman @ sccs>.
}{}{}{}{}{ Knights of the Rectangular Tables - 9/9/00 }{}{}{}{}{
John "Spam, eggs, bacon, and Spam" Finkbiner
Arcadia "I get to read 300 pages of War and Peace per week!
Yay!" Falcone (I'm scared. -q) (I get to translate 15 pages
of Cicero per week! Yay! -a) (Mmmmmph! -b)
Rebecca "Outpost does not take 'about 90 minutes.'" Paul
Jen "why Do I have to be up at 9 for Lunch here" Picagli
Rebecca "split personality" Jones
Robert "divergence-free macaroni curls" McFarland (You broke Queen
Amypurple! -a)
Ivan "I'm off to check my tiger trap" Boothe
Rebecca "let me be Frank" Kuipers (Ooh, that solves that problem! -abq)
Peter "the Ghost of Mary Lyon Strikes Back!!" Ma
Franzi "the little death" Dickson
Drew "shaggy on crack" Szafran
Jay "too good for a quote" Scott
Jimmy "I am a serene (purple -a) knight. Serene (purple -b) damn
it! Serene (purple -q)." Kong
Josh "forward, twillingate morton's harbour, all around the
circle!" Burdick
Melissa "Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem!" Running (Purple, purple, purple! -a)
Jennifer "Klompen" Tyson
Eileen "scrogling froozle eep!" Thorsos (Oops, we broke Eileen. -q)
Hollis "Uncle Neddy" Easter
Mike "Who am I and why am I here?" O'Keefe (Mike O'Keefe, and to
provide a purple M. -a)
~Elliot "I want Cosmic!" Reed
benjamin 'evil people picking out the tofu and leving the overcooked
peppers...' r, george
& Callicles 'Reverse Cone' the Moose
& Margaret 'Power of Dyslexia' the Camera
Kyra "You are _NOT_!!!, to eat Cacuceica!" Jucovy
Willa "Tartan Teddy" Bandler
chaos "taxation without representation" golubitsky
Laurel "You already numbered me," Evans
Will "Peter, are you an orange?" Quale (We already told you, there is
no orange here, only purple. -a)
Kyla "die, orange joke! die! bad Will!" Tornheim
BDan "Herne the Pterodactyl-Hunter" Fairchild
Rachel "centripical squirrel" Kaufman
Liv "oh I'm melting of the heat" Herriot (Really? I'm meeting of
the licat. -q)
Ross "D.O.A." Messing
Matt "No epithet, yet" Fowles
Ben "Very Dull" Masten
Katrina "evil hazelnut creamer of doom. Yum." Mergen
}{}{}{}{}{ And so the 1st meeting ended in turn. }{}{}{}{}{
Thus the purple students purpled their way through the purple semester,
until it was time for final purple week. "No!" the students shouted, "not
without a Reading Purple Week!" But the purple Registrar purpled not.
(I like "purpled not"! It's a great phrase! -a) (Whoops. -a) (Frog. -q)
Pointing to the purple classrooms, he told them...
"Indigo!"
(It's funny! -a) (You realize this is going to get us killed. -b) (It's
funny! Funny funny funny! Bounce, bounce! -a)
}{}{}{}{}{ Abi-Wan Kepurple, Ben Kepurple, and Queen Amypurple }{}{}{}{}{
(And when they still refused to enter, he shouted, "Mauve!" -a) (Is it
done? -b)
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